I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
