Just cropdusted the office
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
