i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
