so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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