Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
