so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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