Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
