Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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