You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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