I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
