She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
