Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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