I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
