I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
