In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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