don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
