First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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