if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
whose parrot is this?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
