We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dear god my vagina.
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