I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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