just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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