if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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