and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
