So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
