okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
