I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
