How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
