you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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