Buhtt sex?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
