Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
