Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's always time for handjobs
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
