Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
