i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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