I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
