Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
