I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
