Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
