I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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