and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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