yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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