It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my phone needs a breathalizer
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
