Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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