hotel room ftw
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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