that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
