He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I touched a dick in church today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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