is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
