So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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