i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
