East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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