omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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