His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
